Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My Wife Must Think My Job Is Cake

My wife stays home with our kid. She also keeps 2 other kids. This is her job. She is a home day care operator. I am sure her job is very difficult, and frankly, there isn’t enough money in the world to make me do this job. I would rather wake up with my head stapled to the carpet than wake up knowing my career is watching snotty brats, ranging from ages 1 to 3, 5 days a week. But my wife enjoys it and I think she does a good job at it. I really do believe my kid has benefited from this greatly. This is part of the reason why my child is advanced (another blog topic soon to come).

I too have a job, though. Again, not to take anything away from wife’s job, but I do not have time to sit and talk to my wife on the phone and this frustrates her greatly. See, I am not self employed. I have a boss. I have shit to do. Again, I know my wife has shit to do also, in fact, her shit to do can almost be taken literally. But what I do not understand is how she finds time to call me 27 times a day.

My Wife: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “Just working……what’s going on?”

My Wife: “Nothing…………..(silence)”

Now, imagine this conversation 27 times a day and you will see my frustration.

So…….the rest of this blog is dedicated to my wife. I am going to document what I do during a typical day at the office, so she will understand why she hears my head banging up against the wall when she calls me at work.

8:02 – Walk in the door with the “oh shit” walk…….late again from the wife deciding the trash needed taking out before work and the kid’s don’t have milk.

8:22 – Finish checking emails and realize that I have another shitty day ahead of me.

8:26 – Wife calls to see if I took out the trash

8: 48 – Get a call from user that she needs Adobe installed on her PC. Run over to user’s office to find the computer locked. No problem for me to remember 180 user’s passwords.

9:15 – User calls saying she can’t print. She follows up with “I tried like 20 times and it still won’t work.”

9:46 - Wife calls to see what I am doing

9:48 – User calls to inform me her “thingy” is not working. I tell her, we are out of “thingys” and we’ll have to order more.

10:10 – User calls with errors on her screen. She then persists to tell me that “she doesn’t know anything about that computer crap.” I tell her how much I love to hear about my area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

10:25 – Wife calls. She wants to know what sounds good for dinner. Head begins to hurt.

10:55 – Call from the sales floor that 4 people just switched desks and are waiting on me to come move their computers and related equipment. Thanks for the heads up. I.T. people don’t use calendars and love to fly by the seats of their pants.

11:00 – Lunch

11:05 – More calls

12:30 – Wife called three times during the compute moves, so I call her back to find out what she needed. She says, “nothing, but I am glad that it wasn’t important.”

12:35 – Sneak to the car to hit the bottle of bourbon…….not really, but maybe not so bad of an idea

1:00 – Okay, so I screwed up on this one……..that or the computer gods hate me…….looks like I’ll be working from home tonight.

2:14 – Get a call from a user that she just got an error message when closing her email. She doesn’t remember the message. She did not write the message down.

2:16 – Wife calls and asks when I am coming home? I tell her, very gently, 5:00 like every other day.

2:30 – 5:00 – You get the point……and add a couple calls from my wife

So dear, that is a good example of my days at work… you can understand why I give you a hard time about your daily/hourly phone calls. I am sure that I will receive a rebuttal/comment on this blog entry. It might not be pretty.


Your Wife said... are so flipping funny. Don't worry, I won't call anymore. You just better hope your daughter is born on the weekend or you might miss it. Who's the funny one now, jerk?